either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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