and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize