Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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