Small penises have feelings too.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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