Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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