Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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