In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize