I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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