I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize