I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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