please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
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