Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
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