i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
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He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
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legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
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