Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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