Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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