I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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