Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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