Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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