have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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