Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize