I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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