heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
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So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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