You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Randomize