I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize