I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
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