Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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