Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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