Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize