I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
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i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
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No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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