i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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