What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
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You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
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When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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