the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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