I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
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I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
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I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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