his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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