wakey wakey hands off snakey
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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