Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize