She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
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I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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