The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
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