Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize