You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
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Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
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Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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