Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
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She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Can I color on your dick again?
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
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I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize