At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
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