I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Oh god it's open bar.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
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