I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She's JV to your varsity
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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