I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
Someone shit on the floor
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
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while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
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Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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