i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
my sisters under your porch take her home
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize