i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
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