so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
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Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
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Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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