I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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