smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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